yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he thought i was a dude.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
