yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
