do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
