i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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