Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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