no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
