I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
