Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
