Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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