Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
