I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
