Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
