We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
