I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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