new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
