i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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