Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
