I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
