Screwed.edu
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
