Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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