I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
