Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
