yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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