Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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