who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
