I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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