I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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