I understand Curling. That high.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
