After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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