I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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