I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
When are your genitals available?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
