i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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