She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
