i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
