8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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