is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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