Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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