Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
