he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
