I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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