last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
