I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
