Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
His hands were made for my vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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