remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i love accidental penises.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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