i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
