Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
