Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
