I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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