handjob tips. give me some.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
