It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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